The Purpose-Driven Dog

I've been thinking about this for a while now, actually several years. However, before I could get around to doing anything with my idea, some guy in Orange County STOLE MY IDEA, and wrote his own Purpose Driven books. Now, because I've decided to share my insights with my ever-increasing base of readers, it's going to look like I stole the concept from him, but that's not the case.

Well, I can't do anything about that. I know the real truth, and I know who first came up with the Purpose Driven Dog idea. So I'm going to share it with my vast audience, just so you'll finally understand more of what makes my mind do what it does (whatever that is).

I'll try to make this brief. Basically, God has created dogs with Five Purposes. When a dog is fulfilling all Five Purposes, in a healthy, balanced way, that dog can be called a Purpose-Driven Dog. Again, it's the PROPER BALANCE between all Five Purposes that will ensure a healthy, growing, effective dog. Here are the Five Purposes:

Sleeping ("Reposing")
Eating ("Replenishing")
Emitting Strange Odor ("Repugnant")
Begging ("Reminding")
Unconditional Love ("Rewarding")

Again, the key to dog growth is dog health, and the key to dog health is BALANCE. Some dogs are great sleepers, but are lousy at begging; they just don't do it. Other dogs smell admirably horrible, but they don't sleep enough. And so on; it's all about balancing the Five Purposes.

It's my hope to publish all this into a book someday, which is really an exciting prospect. Just think - criminals will hear about the Purpose Driven Dog and actually lay down their guns and let their hostages go free. Corporations will hold Purpose Driven Dog discussion groups. And soon, the book'll be available in paperback and and even audio form (read by me) in pet stores everywhere. However, until things blow over with all that other Purpose Driven stuff, I'll just have to wait a little while.

In the meantime, while you're waiting for the REAL THING, it probably wouldn't kill you to read the Purpose Driven Life. Just know that there's another book coming soon that's much more practical, insightful and culture-shaping.

Purposefully Yours,

Mabel

Phantom of the Opera

Two of the people I live with are, at this moment, watching "Phantom of the Opera" on pay per view. This is the most ridiculous, and possibly the most disturbing film I've ever seen.

If a dog, cat, ferret, monkey, squirrel, rat, zebra, camel or other animal lived under a building and had a disfigured face, and occasionally came out and scared people, that animal would be taken away and shot.

But in this story, just because the heinous, disfigured creature living under the building happens to be a guy with a good singing voice, he's some kind of a hero. And the woman in the story is just as wack as the guy. This guy has no job, and no prospects at all, yet because he's got the voice, she falls for him!! What does he have to offer her? Where are they going to live? What about kids, and what about finding a house in a good school district? No matter - he's got a great voice. Let them live like disease-ridden sewer rats under the building; at least they can sing.

Generally, I try to live peacefully around people. I try not to entertain thoughts of jealousy or discontentment. I try to heed the words of St. Paul in Romans 12:18 - "Live at peace with everyone." (What can I say, I live in a pastor's home).

But sometimes, I just get frustrated at the double standard. Animals, specifically dogs, can't sing. And because of that, we're denied the freedom to live under buildings, and we're just not always properly valued for the unique gifts we have to contribute.