I'm Doing Great!

Well, I've been gone about a week now, and while I don't think I'll be able to write very often, I thought I'd just let everyone know I'm doing very well. Like I think I mentioned before, there are dogs in Heaven, and now I'm one of them!

Because of certain rules, I can't tell you everything I've seen up here. God is really into the whole "big reveal" thing when the time comes, and so everyone up here has to be quiet about how things are. But I've been cleared to share a few things...

1. There's something in the Bible about a lion lying down with a lamb. That's true. They live just down the block from me, and they pretty much just lie there all day, just to show everyone they can do it. That's their whole day. Seems a little showy to me, but hey, it's their thing and it doesn't really affect me, so no problem.

2. Some of the Biblical people, in fact, most of them, really like it when you talk to them and ask questions. And for some reason, they have no problem understanding me even though I'm a dog. But there are other people, Jonah for example, who really seem to understand what a pain they were on Earth, and would just as soon put that behind them. Some of Joseph's brothers are like that too; but not all of them are up here, for some reason.

3. The biggest celebrity up here, other than Jesus of course, is Adam. Man, that guy... anyplace else, he'd be a psychiatrist's dream. Talk about guilt. But up here, there seems to be such a sense that sin really has been taken care of. So it turns out that Adam is really one of the most interesting people up here, because he has a perspective no one else has. The down side is that it's really hard to get an appointment with him because everyone wants to talk to him, and frankly, vent their frustrations to him. But I'm on his waiting list, and I have an appointment for March 16, 3742. So I have time to think about it.

Well, I'm on the verge of giving too much information, so we'll leave it there. But let me just say that I'm fine. I can hear again, I'm gaining weight, I can run, and I smell a lot better. My former next-door neighbor dog, Herschel Nowatka, is up here. I always thought he was Jewish, but whatever. It was good to see someone I knew the first day. We're actually roommates, but it's all just friends at this point. If anything further developed, one of us would have to move out until we were married. They're really strict up here. But I don't think anything's going to happen; I'm saving myself for my special friend, Goofy Shields. And he's not going to move up here until (CENSORED).

Gotta go - I have choir practice.